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[15 Jan 2007|01:36pm] |
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im so fucking bored. i have decided to be nice to everyone, honestly, if i keep being a miserable person im not gunna have any fun. so im playing halo 2 with my brother and his friend. work in about an hour cause i need the money. i freaked out last night cause ive been stressign alot lately about shit like jobs and some other shit but im better now. ive been working otu alot lately and im gunna be even more cause i wanna get in amazing shape. im taking my daily vitamins and shit and i think im gunna start drinking protien shakes again. im calling walmart and home depot back today and every single day until i get a big no or i get hired. im also gunna go out looking for more places to apply at. i think im gunna apply at like every single place downtown cause its so close and there are lots of little shops and shit. i think the first place im gunna try is subway. ughh, i threw up last night cause i stressed myself out so bad, and of course helping me with everything was sarah, she even stood there while i puked lol. i love her so much, shes always there for me and always amazing.
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| wow, never thought i would use this again. |
[14 Jan 2007|03:22am] |
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so yeah, things between me and sarah were kinda rough for a bit.i fucked up so much and if i could do anything to take all the stupid shit i did back i would, anything. but yeah, on that note we are doing so much better, in my eyes that is. i am honestly changing myself so much, i didn't like who i was, i was a failure and now i am gunna be something. i'm looking for a new job, i think i might have my old one back with my uncle though, that would be nice. i'm going for my ged soon and i am going to every fucking class no matter what. then i'm going to pair college of art. im starting painting too so that should be fun. but yeah, sarah is my everything. theres no way to even explain to her how much i love her, love doesnt even come close to explaining it. im going to be with her forever and have children with her and do everything the perfect family can do. she is perfect in every single way, besides being a loser sometimes but thats one thing that makes her so irrisistably cute to me. she has the most amazing eyes i have ever seen, something takes me over when i look into her eyes. its like pure enlightenment and happiness. her lips feel like clouds on my lips andi never want our lips to part ways. her hugs feel like they last forever, when she holds me i feel so safe. i hope she knows how much i am changing. i hope she knows how much she means to me. i love her and her family so much. she is just everything i have ever wanted or needed in someone, she makes my life complete and without her i would be nothing. my love, my soul mate.
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[13 Jun 2006|11:46am] |
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mood |
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bored |
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stupid radio that plays the same songs over and over |
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Hey everyone, yeah I know I never update this but I'm bored on my blackberry at work so I figured. Yeah, that's right, I have a job and have had one for like 6 months. Full time I work 6 days a week and it sucks cause I hate work.I'm finally with the true love of my life and I have never been so happy. It's like a dream. She may be a loser but I love her with all of my heart hehe. I need new shoes and new shorts, I have holes in both. Well, I should get back to work before I get yelled at even though I do nothing all day long hahahaha. Peace out!
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[11 Apr 2005|07:39am] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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marneys smile in my head |
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I love her sooooo much, that's all i really have to say because that's the only way i can explain how i feel about marney. Everytime i'm with her even though i don't tell her i get butterflies in my stomache and i feel all nervous. i love taking walks with her to random spots that special stuff has happened to us at, i love when she laughs cause it makes me feel all melty inside, i love how she can actually pick me up. The list goes on and on forever but then that would be a really long journal entry so i'm not gunna do that. I love her, she's perfect, she's mine forever. :)
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[10 Jan 2005|12:46pm] |
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I read her journal today. i mean i know she thinks it's because i'm tired and stuff and i know i make up stupid reasons for stuff, but the truth is, it's not because i'm tired, and when i get mad or depressed for no reason, there is a reason and i don't want to tell her. the reason is i have been having those thoughts again, the suicidal ones. i'm not happy with myself, i feel like i'm ugly, fat, stupid as a fucking nail, i have lots of reasons for having these thoughts. i love her so much and this depression shit is tearing me apart inside having to deal with these conflicting suicide thoughts.i mean i know i wont do it but just having these thoughts is killing me. man, whenever im not with her i feel like life is gunna end, i love her more anything, she makes me smile even on my saddest days, she makes me laugh when i'm not in the laughing mood, i mean i know her better than i know anyone. i just wanted to put this out there cause i want her to know how much i love her, and i want her to help me with my problems, because besides for a few friends like darren and lizz and cliff there is no one that can help me but her.
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[22 Oct 2004|12:50pm] |
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high |
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jimmy eat world - pain |
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I decided i might as well use my live journal again. I have not been up to that much lately, just sitting at home, going to a couple shows now and then and hanging with my GF marney, she is the greatest person in the world. I love you marney. Anyways, school is going good, i'm getting pretty damn good grades, in fact i have no less than a B in any of my classes. I don't do drugs anymore, i quit that a long time ago, around the start of this summer, all i really do is smoke weed like every other weekend or maybe more if i feel up to it, haha that sounds bad. Well that's about it for now. Have some fun this weekend people, get out and do something, i know i'm gunna.
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[03 Jul 2004|02:00pm] |
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My birthday sucked. End of story.
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[28 Jun 2004|07:24pm] |
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mood |
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discontent |
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on broken wings - listless |
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Tomorrow is my birthday, I am gunna be 18. Sweet deal. That's all i gots ta say for now.
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[11 Jun 2004|06:10pm] |
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accomplished |
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misery signals - the year that summer ended in june |
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Well, I have not updated in quite some time. I now have a job, well two of them. I work on lawns and shit for 8 dollars an hour and I also do carpentry like every single day for 10 dollars an hour, my boss is the coolest guy too, he teaches me stuff everyday about the field that i'm gunna be working in for a while to make some money. Has anyone else heard the new misery signals? I bought it the day it came out, it is the best fucking cd by far that I have heard in a long time, besides the new killswitch cd, that is also awesome. I am also single now haha, I wish I had someone to cuddle though, i'm lonely alot. That's about it for now, peace out homies.
"I believe in promises, do you believe in trust."
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